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05 March 2010 @ 11:39 pm
An Account...  
...Being an Excerpt of a Description of an Expedition into the Hinterlands of Missouri, and Retrieval of Specimen Therefrom.

"...I began from my Base Camp upon the afternoon of 5th March. As I appurtenanced no difficulty, and a speedy return, I failed to lay on provisions prior to departing. This would prove to be a challenge.

I and my pack beast, having forgone the usual native bearers, set off to the East, seeking the Specimen described to myself upon the list of one Craig, by name. Daggeuerotypic evidence indicated that the Specimen was perfectly suited for the uses to which I and our Crew desired to turn it. I encountered no difficulty on the outbound trip, and arrived at the magnificent ruins of the Springs of Excelsior in fair time.

I had been advised to contact a native guide upon my arrival, as the local area was tortuous and difficult to navigate. The guide, being of the tribe Rutilus Gutter (as he himself described himself to me, those of the Red Neck), spoke with an accent most Peculiar. Initially, I mistook his directions, returning to the South, but soon, I was headed again to the North. The path through the ruins twisted and turned most confusingly; I feel if it was laid down by the hand of Man, the man who laid it out must have been partaking heavily of absinthe and laudanum. I had been warned of local warlike Hottentots, called by the natives in their curious dialect poe-leez; I was forced to rein in the pack beast to a bare walking pace for many miles.

Finally, I located the resting place of the Specimen. Subsequent to examination, I traded a few baubles for it; the skeleton is indeed intact, even though the flesh has been removed. It must be re-covered prior to display by our lovely and talented team of seamstresses, or possibly we can find a premade coverage somewhere in the City upon my return. Sadly, I fear it has been plagued by rodents; can any of our medical personnel provide me with a cure for the dread Futon Mouse Disease?

Having secured my Specimen on the pack beast, (and the Specimen was indeed larger than described; I fear it would not have fit within Capt. Garbanzo's velocipede in any way), I began my return trip. Mostly uneventful, save for a bold, masked, furry thief who refused to yield the right-of-way upon the High Road; I was required to divert around him, as he would not be turned from his dinner. I have arrived now back at Base Camp, ravenous and dehydrated, and will endeavour to contact the other members of the Crew as we had discussed, to-morrow day.

I remain, your faithful Correspondent,
Dr. Z. C. Carlisle-Addams."
 
 
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lisichancelisichance on March 8th, 2010 02:51 pm (UTC)
Most excellent account of your procuration, Dr. Carlisle-Addams!